Random Thoughts on Wedding Vows

Summertime means wedding season – a time where couples celebrate their relationships and aspire for a long and prosperous future together. For many people, especially the bride, wedding day is the most important day of their life. A crucial part of this ceremony is preparing and delivering wedding vows, which is also one of the most stressful points of the wedding itself for any future bride or groom. There are virtually no rules to the way in which one can write wedding vows, which is why writing them may be so difficult; however, they are the promises that you plan to uphold to your partner for the remainder of your marriage, which for many stands as a lifetime commitment. There are many things to consider when preparing your wedding vows, especially in terms of what is and is not acceptable vow material for the wedding.

First, and probably most importantly, wedding vows ought to be honest. A marriage cannot survive without honesty, and so it is foolish to think that the wedding day and the vows are any different. It is imperative that promises made by the bride or groom to the other are not only realistic, but something that can be upheld without too much strain. Successful marriages are predicated upon honesty, and it is only realistic that the wedding vows are consistent with that mindset. If the bride or groom vows something completely ridiculous or unattainable at the wedding, it is possible that their future spouse will feel resentful if that promise is broken during the marriage, and feel less inclined to uphold their own vows. They may just seem like words, but the vows are truly promises that signify your commitment to the relationship and its future. Honesty may truly be the best policy in the case of the wedding vows, especially because it is something neither of you are likely to forget. It is important to start off the rest of your lives together on the “right foot”, and the best way to do that is to be realistic in the promises you make within your wedding vows.

Secondly, wedding vows should be meaningful. It is not enough to say as a bride, “I will let you have the remote when we watch TV”, or as a groom, “I promise to not make fun of you when you fart in front of me.” As a bride or groom, it is important that your wedding vows are significant to the relationship and heartfelt commitments to your partner. It is the only opportunity that a bride or groom is truly offered to stand and testify for their love and commitment to their partner, and it should be taken relatively seriously. That is not to say that wedding vows shouldn’t be funny (by all means, it is much worse for your vows to be stale and boring), but rather that the promises stand for something special to you and your future spouse. There are many ways to do this, not all of them have to be entirely cliché or melodramatic. However, they should be important to both you and your spouse-to-be. Promise to love and support your spouse, to listen to what they have to say, and respect their opinions and feelings. Promise to be more understanding, or to not lose faith in them during difficult times. That makes the wedding vows not only accomplishable by your own means, but they help to make your bride or groom feel special and comforted in the leap of faith you are about to take together.

Finally, it is important that your wedding vows express your true feelings to your bride or groom. Your wedding is the one day that you get to truly celebrate your triumphs before all of your friends and family, so make them genuine and complete. This again means that the wedding vows need to be truthful, but they should also be a reflection of the one making them. Be sure to let your future spouse know how much they mean to you, and make your wedding vows something that both of you can look back upon and appreciate ten or twenty years later. Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life, and the vows are meant to represent a milestone for your bride or groom and express the enthusiasm and excitement you share for the future. The way to accomplish this is through being honest and direct, but also letting the wedding vows express who you truly are, and how you feel about the relationship to your bride or group, to those observing, and to yourself.